Christmas Roast and all the trimmings

Wiganer and I decided to have a Christmas gathering.

We invited 12 people with the intention of cooking whole roast.

All was fine until realised I was having my teeth out two days before. That seemed to instigate a further trail pf problems.

Firstly, getting a turkey. Not that easy. Finally manage to locate one that was a) right size and b) not requiring a mortgage to buy. Sadly it was in a giant ASDA about 10million miles from where we live. and i was by myself.

So had to carry 8lb frozen turkey home. It nearly killed me. And I never believed a piece of frozen food could create so many bruises.

Problem number two. Left turkey to defrost in fridge. Sadly fridge is mal-functioning and therefore seemed, if anything, to freeze turkey further.

So left it in the kitchen. Again, due to negative temperature of flat, really was not defrosting at all. Wiganer suggested putting it in microwave. I vetoed that. Didn't want to poison guests.

Eventually decided to leave it in bedroom. Just hoped it wouldn't amke it smell funny.

Also, decided to name turkey Rosemary (rosie for short).

Morning of dinner arrives. Got up at half 8 to switch on oven (door doesn't close properly so had to calculate extra three hours for rosie's cooking).

Went to set up table. Then realised that we had invited 12 people. And only have 2chairs in whole flat.

Spent hour frantically ringing everyone we know for chairs. Boyfriend came to rescue. Bless him.

Wiganer and I checked on Rosie. Thought oven door looked funny colour. Opened door. Appeared to have rather large fire going on in there.

The flames managed to jump out of thte oven, set fire to a teatowel hanging nearby (NB don't keep flamable material near ovens) which in turn nearly set fire to wooden shelf.

Lucky Wiganer nearby. Managed to get fire under control. And in all the excitement oven door became fixed! Hurrah!

After that, day was fairly accident free. I managed to accidentally get quite drunk before guests arrived (blamed painkillers of teeth) but was just merry, not dangerous.

And dinner turned out marvelously. Was lovely. And as we calculated a bit wrong, there was more than enough of Rosie left of the Wiganer to have many a turkey sandwich.