Christmas Roast and all the trimmings

Wiganer and I decided to have a Christmas gathering.

We invited 12 people with the intention of cooking whole roast.

All was fine until realised I was having my teeth out two days before. That seemed to instigate a further trail pf problems.

Firstly, getting a turkey. Not that easy. Finally manage to locate one that was a) right size and b) not requiring a mortgage to buy. Sadly it was in a giant ASDA about 10million miles from where we live. and i was by myself.

So had to carry 8lb frozen turkey home. It nearly killed me. And I never believed a piece of frozen food could create so many bruises.

Problem number two. Left turkey to defrost in fridge. Sadly fridge is mal-functioning and therefore seemed, if anything, to freeze turkey further.

So left it in the kitchen. Again, due to negative temperature of flat, really was not defrosting at all. Wiganer suggested putting it in microwave. I vetoed that. Didn't want to poison guests.

Eventually decided to leave it in bedroom. Just hoped it wouldn't amke it smell funny.

Also, decided to name turkey Rosemary (rosie for short).

Morning of dinner arrives. Got up at half 8 to switch on oven (door doesn't close properly so had to calculate extra three hours for rosie's cooking).

Went to set up table. Then realised that we had invited 12 people. And only have 2chairs in whole flat.

Spent hour frantically ringing everyone we know for chairs. Boyfriend came to rescue. Bless him.

Wiganer and I checked on Rosie. Thought oven door looked funny colour. Opened door. Appeared to have rather large fire going on in there.

The flames managed to jump out of thte oven, set fire to a teatowel hanging nearby (NB don't keep flamable material near ovens) which in turn nearly set fire to wooden shelf.

Lucky Wiganer nearby. Managed to get fire under control. And in all the excitement oven door became fixed! Hurrah!

After that, day was fairly accident free. I managed to accidentally get quite drunk before guests arrived (blamed painkillers of teeth) but was just merry, not dangerous.

And dinner turned out marvelously. Was lovely. And as we calculated a bit wrong, there was more than enough of Rosie left of the Wiganer to have many a turkey sandwich.

Wisdom Teeth

SInce september, apart from the internet, my other ongoing saga has been my impaceted wisdom teeth (yes not one, not two, but all of them).

My teeth are the bane of my life. By the age of 14 I had already had 8 teeth out (my mouth is really quite small).

I then got braces. Full blown traintracks.

Now, there are some people who kind of look ok with braces. Those people who you don't really notice have them. I was definitely not one of them.

In fact I was the opposite. They REALLY looked bad.

So after that three year (yes THREE YEARS) torture I thought all would be well.

But no. So at the age of 21 I went into london bridge hospital to have the bastard teeth. All out. So never again will they bother me.

I opted for the general aneasthetic. I am a big juicy wimp. And I'd never had one before so why not?

So after I go to sleep and have teeth out I wake up.

I really did feel fine. And thought I would try to stand up. I completely fell of my bed. and ripped the drip out of my hand. And two nurses had to lift me back on.

Then I was wheeled back to my bed, and, as told later by the Wiganer, who, bless her came to look after me, looked HORRIFIC.

Apparently i was whiter than white except for the substantial amount of dried blood completely covering the lower half of my face (really good Wiganer had sense to bring face wipes).

Then, as if i was not disgusting enough they then, without any explanation at all, handed her a small pot. Which contained my teeth (not washed or anything - one was stil surrounded by bits of my gum; the others, all fairly bloody).

So that was all gross.

Eventually got home (having been convinced that i was fine, and subsequently fainting. twice)

Had to wear flat shoes. made a bit of a fuss about that. am only 5'2.5 (rounded up to 5'3) and so have never to date been out in public without at least 4inch heels). Was probably quite a good idea though. was really very unsteady.

But after a day was fine. Went shopping. had a little dance. cooked an entire christmas roast for a party. (Party atmosphere greatly enhanced by the constant display of my now removed wisdom teeth).

So all in all, removal of wisdon teeth not as bad as people make out.