Domestic Goddess

Since living with the Boyfriend (ok, ok, I know it's only been 6 days, and this may be very short-lived) but I have really embraced my inner domestic goddess.

I am still messy, but seem to take great pride in cleaning, dusting, wiping down my kitchen surfaces. I nagged the Boyfriend to put together the hoover, even before I had unpacked all of my shoes. I have never before even owned a hoover, and yet for some reason it suddenly appeared to be a vital piece of household equipment.

The other thing I have embraced is cooking. Now, my cooking skills have always been somewhat sporadic. I will happily survive, sometimes for over a fortnight on toast and fish finger sandwiches, and then suddenly get the urge to bake a four tier devils foodcake, with homemade truffles to decorate (needless to say, it never turns out as beautiful as it sounds - but it is always tasty). Alternatively I can swing the other way and turn my hand to a range of complicated and challenging dishes, using exotic ingredients following time consuming receipes, only to have spent hours in the kitchen and then go off the idea and have a yogurt.

At the moment I am in full chef mode. And as it is winter I am embracing the winter warmers. Jacket potatoes with mushrooms, spring onions, bacon and cream cheese, sausage, mash and onion gravy, and the piece de resistance, my absolutely wonderful cottage pie.

The Boyfriend insisted on buying a vat of mince, adament that he would eat the best part of half a kilo of meat in one go (yeah right). He wanted to "cook" his bolognese, which bascially equates to him cooking mince, emptying in a jar of sauce and poking it with a spatula for about half an hour. He then cooks spaghetti (normally 6 times the amount actually needed) forgets about it so it is overcooked and fused together, and then either mixes in the bolognese pan and eats out of that, or piles it onto the smallest plate he can find, therefore dropping bits of mince all over the floor.

But not this time. Oh no. I was going to make a proper cottage pie. So, in the haphazard style favoured by myself in the kitchen, here goes:

400g mince
2 onions
Lots of mushrooms (I LOVE mushrooms, he does not, but if you keep them big they are easy to spot and pick out)
3 small carrots
Half swede
Half a butternut squash
1 1/2 pints beef stock
1 tbsp gravy granules
Some garlic

Fry off the mince for about 5-6mins. Set aside and fry off the garlic, onions. Add a little of the beef stock, and then add the carrots and mushrooms. Once all the veggies are looking softer, add to the mince, and pour in the rest of the stock. Add gravy granules. Cover and simmer for 40mins with the lid on. Remove lid and simmer for a further 15mins. The sauce should be rich and not too liquidy, but with enough gravy not to be dry.
Peel and cube the swede and butternut squash (be warned - this is an almost impossible task and a large cleaver/axe may be the only implement able to assist with this task - at one point a piece of chopped swede leapt from the chopping board, and lodged itself behind the fridge, never to be seen again). Pop into some boiling water and cook until soft.

Pour the mince mixture into a large ovenproof dish. Drain the swede/squash, add seasoning and a little milk and butter, and mash. Spread over mince and brush the top with some melted butter. Pop under the grill for about 7mins until top is a little crispy. Serve with brocolli (possibly the healthiest piece of veg in the world - or at least so my aunty would have me believe).

Eat in front of The Apprentice snuggled with the Boyfriend on the sofa. I couldn't be happier.

Being a grown-up

After several weeks of fighting my freezer, this weekend I came to realise that my freezer was not just too full, or on slanted floor, or that the door had changed shape - I has to face the reality as to why it wasn't closing properly. It needed defrosting.

Having consulted housemates, we realised that none of us had any idea how to do this (a phone call to a helpful mother, and a quick google consultation rectified this) and that we would also have a vast array of frozen food that would need to be dealt with.

The first thought was party. But we had to defrost it mid-week (the situation was near breaking point - we could not wait til the weekend). So the next option was a mass cook-a-thon, as we realised that we could cook frozen chicken into a curry, and then freeze the curry - genius!

The next day I had totally forgotten about the cook-a-thon and was happily preparing to watch Inception (totally brilliant - really really recommend it). I got in the front door, ready for a 45minute turnaround and was confronted by a mountain of frozen chicken and nearly a kilo of frozen prawns. And I had bought no sauce of any kind.

Now, my family are very evenly split when it comes to cooking. Both my mother and father are two of the worst cooks, possibly in the history of the modern world. my grandmother, while a good cook, hated it with a passion, and sadly this did sometimes feel apparent in her food. Yet my sister, aunty, Deda and my step-mother are all truly inspired chefs, and not only does the food look and taste great, but they geniuinely love it.

I am almost exactly in the middle. I oscillate wildly between loving to cook, and getting irritated and angry and frustrated, until I eventually abandon the whole thing to the bin and get a takeaway. Some concoctions work wonderfully, others, less well (note - do NOT subtitute oil for butter in cake - it does not work).

Luckily last week I was blessed with a good humour, and some even better inspiration. I cooked up the prawns with veg and thai green curry paste and made a vat of the stuff (keeps in the fridge - ate that a lot for lunch that week). And with all the chicken breasts I was a little more adventurous.

First I chopped two red onions and a load of garlic. I softened them over a low heat with some olive oil, and then added the chicken. I then added about two tablespoons of paprika, a pinch of sugar, some seasoning, two chopped peppers, and a tin of tomatoes. I may have added other things, but was limited to the minimalist contents of my cupboards.

I left it all bubbling away while I showered, dressed and made myself presentable for said date with the Boyfriend. I finally turned off the heat as I was pulling the front door closed.

When we returned from the cinema, we were starving (Inception is a great film, but a long one) and so I heated up some of the stew, made a healthy portion of cous cous (fast food of choice as it takes approximately 3 minutes to cook and is less hit and miss than rice) and I may have made it myself by god, it was DELICIOUS.

Countdown to Christmas: Mince Pies

Every year the Wiganer and I have made mince pies.

It all started four years ago one April (yes April) when we spotted a tub of mincemeat in the reduced section of Tesco.

Now, before we go on I must add that the Wiganer loves mince pies. And not just in the way that we all do; she LOVES them. To the point that her Grandma stockpiles them at Christmas and rations them out to her for the rest of the year.

So after seeing this tub of mincemeat she insisted on buying it (as mince pies ready made in the shop were long gone).

So we bought it and decided to make pastry (with no recipe, but it was ok) and do the pies ourselves.

After several truly inedible batches (if you overcook mincemeat it takes on a consistency similar to chewing gum) we finally hit on the perfect balance of butter, flour, water and mincemeat.

And from that point in April onwards, we have made it a tradition to make our own mince pies every Christmas.

Masterchef

Those of you that know me will know that cooking has never been a strong point, or even much of an interest for me. In fact my culinary expertise stretches not much further than toast. But one of the perks at work is complimentary tickets, and for that reason myself and Wigan were venturing to that district line black-spot of Kensington Olympia, to attend Masterchef Live.

After fighting our way through the frenzied crowds of amateur cooks, we made it into the lofty space of Olympia.

Which is huge. And was totally jam-packed with stalls that were selling everything, from juice to sausages, from cheese graters to lager, from chocolate to curry. And you could try more or less all of it. We saw one of the finalists from this year's Masterchef demonstrating how to fillet a fish, and a range of TV chefs signing books and having photos.

We managed to try a seriously large amount of stuff - Kingfisher lager was a winner, as what the second of the toffee vodkas. St Germain elderflower liquer is a definite must have - it tastes like a garden in spring. Fat free and low calorie curry on the other hand tastes fat-free and low caloris - rubbish. Chocolate orange fudge is nice, as was lavender (surprisingly). The Wiganer nearly choked to death on a chilli jam, and out of the considerable range of chocolate brownies, the best was probably the gluten free one.

The only thing we actually bought was a wild boar sausage sandwich and a buffalo burger for lunch (mega-YUM) and a chocolate owl (for the boyfriend).

All in all, I would not have paid for this event (partly down to the fact that cooking will never be that high on my agenda) but it was definitely worth going as a freebie.