Le Pot Lyonnaise

My Daddy is turning 54 on Tuesday. To mark this grand occasion the boyfriend and I were due to go to Rye for the Rye Fawkes Bonfire Night. However, both being struck down by a dreaded winter lurgi, we had to bypass the trip and spent the weekend lying pathetically on the sofa, downing lemsip and watching a bizarre selection of films (culminating in Bedknobs and Broomsticks - the Boyfriend really surprising me by singing along, word perfect to "Bobbing along, singing a song").

Instead of a yummy Italian lunch as the Tuscan Kitchen in Rye, it was decided that en route back to Queen's Park, my parents and sister would stop off at the flat, and we would go for birthday lunch at the Parisienne style bistro across the road.

Le Pot Lyonnaise. DO NOT GO.

We turned up for our booking at 12.45. And were seated in the emptiest, gloomiest and coldest part of the restaurant (we didn't realise this until we went to the toilet, and wandered through into a far livlier area). We specified that we were in a bit of a hurry (haircut for the Birthday boy back at Queen's Park at 3.30) and so promptly gave our drinks/food order.

Our waitress was new and had not the foggiest about the menu. After looking blank at the third question she disappeared off to "ask the chef" never to return. In her place we got a surly looking, yet far more capable waitress.

So we ordered at approx 12.55. By 1.30 there was no sign of our food. By 1.45, having mentioned the considerable chill, and being met with the response of "Oh, yeah, it is cold in here - the radiator is a bit old" a glass of ice, ordered with our drinks an HOUR before turned up.

An hour after ordering, and we were starving, cold, and getting grumpier by the second. Birthday boy went to investigate. Surly waitress came to tell us, not how sorry she was for the wait, but that it was our fault for ordering the duck - it takes the longest (yet there is NO mention of this on the menu).

Finally, in dribs and drabs, the food started to arrive. The corn fed chicken was delicious, as were my Moules Mariniere (though the side order of crushed new potatoes with aioli was most definitely a form of instant mash potato). The duck was fine, if a little greasy. Sadly, Birthday boy's steak had a similar texture to old leather. It was cold, dry, and so tough that even the steak knife was making little headway.

He went to take it back, and the previously full restuarant appeared devoid of any staff. So he went into the kitchen to be met by a torrent of abuse from the authentic French chef.

By this point we had been there over an hour and a half, and my father had no food. Dreading another hour wait, he just picked off our plates, paid the bill (minus the discretionary service charge, and the fee for the untouched steak and chips) and we left.

The apology from Miss Surly was pathetic to say the least.

On return to the flat, we had lots of cups of tea, and a slice of delicious homemade coffee and walnut cake, and this seemed to successfully salvage any overhanging ill feeling.

My only advice is to avoid Le Pot Lyonnaise, unless you have buckets of time to spend in a freezing resutarant eating tough, dry and tasteless food. And if you do risk it, make sure you have a good homemade cake back at home.

Queenstown Road eateries

Since moving to a new place (albeit, less than 20minutes from my former location) the Boyfriend and I have decided that we must try out as many of the new establishments near us as possible.

On night one, we went to Bangkok Boulevard - a delicious Thai place on Lavender Hill. Despite not getting there until half 10pm, it was still lively. They brought over some really yummy prawn crackers (Thai style, so drier and less greasy than Chinese ones). We shared a starter of steamed pork and prawn dumplings, which were YUM (especially when washed down with Champagne - we had to have something to celebrate with). Then I had a chilli and garlic prawn stirfry with Jasmine rice. The Boyfriend had sticky rice and a spicy beef stirfry. The food was quick, piping hot and full of flavour - totally delicious and exactly what we needed.

We then tested a roast at The Victoria on Queenstown Road. Tender beef, crispy yorkshires, amazing homemade stuffing... the perfect hangover cure.

This week we went to Sultan's Kitchen - a curry house, again on Queenstown Road. Now, in the past we have had a few issues with curry houses, so much so we had given up, and only ever had curry when in Croydon, and could get a takeaway. Well, we have now found one that is not only tasty, but also remarkably cheap (poppadums, curry, rice, drinks = £25. Bargain).

Elephant on The Hill for a roast. Very tasty (but maybe not quite as good as the Victoria) but the staff were HOPELESS. Our food took over an hour, we were asked just once if we wanted more drinks, and it took half an hour to get the dessert menus, let alone the desserts themselves.

I have constructed a comprehensive list of other places to visit, including the Cake Boutique (you can design your own cakes! and they also sell a remarkable array of yummy teatime treats), San Gennaro (a highly recommended Italian) Le Pot Lyonniase (fun looking French Bistro) and the Boyfrind is DESPERATE to go to Santa Maria del Sur (apparently the best steak house in London) although that one may have to wait as sadly, I don't really like steak....

Tasty London

Recently everyone I know has obtained a tastecard (previously Taste London card). It is a card that gives you a 50% discount or 2 4 1 on main meals at a variety of restaurants across London.

I was then emailed a link that meant the card was only £30 instead of the usual £70. So the boyfriend and I decided to invest in one.

We recieved a bible-like catalogue of every restaurant that offers a deal. A lot of them are places that generally have a deal already (Gourmet Burger Kitchen, Strada) but there are also some real gems.

Now, the Boyfriend and I do eat out quite regularly, and don't really need another reason to do it more often. But now that we can potentially save 50%.....

Last week we tested it for the first time. We went to The Loft in Clapham with a couple of friends. The Loft does wonderful cocktails (mojito with pear juice - YUM, as was an elderflower concoction) which were also on offer, and the food did not disappoint.

Two of us had seabass with garlic spinach and asparagus and a sun-dried tomato paste. It was delicious. And I don't even like spinach. The Boyfriend had sausage and mash (you cannot go wrong with that) and James had pork belly (you could have it thin and crispy or thick and juicy... thick and juicy was gooooood).

The only complaint was that some of the food was not PIPING hot, but it was all very tasty and mixed very well with the cocktails. And the best part was getting the bill - it worked out as about £10 a head. What a bargain.

BBQ

Last year I was devastated by the lack of Barbeques. I didn't go to a single one. This was both a mixture of lots of people not having outside space (and lets face it, an indoor bbq is just dangerous) and myself working a lot of weekends.

This year I am determined not to repeat this fiasco, and to set the ball rolling I hosted my first BBQ this weekend. The Boyfriend and I went to Tesco, and instead of buying a few disposable ones, we really pushed the boat out and got a real one, complete with brickets and lighter fluid.

Putting it together was a severe test on the relationship. But a few hours later, after an argument, some lost screws, some extra nuts, an attempt to bend/fuse/force metal and a humiliating call to Tesco customer services (it turned out that we had read the instructions wrong, and not that they had provided us with a substandard BBQ set) we had our very own (if really small) BBQ.

Then came the food prep. Marinating chicken (may I recommend teriyaki - yum and quick), chopping veg and bread, making salads and gin and tonic (no Pimms - too much hassle, and when made en masse it always seems to taste flat), and then people started to arrive.

Pearse brought homemade burgers (the boy is a culinary genius) and we also had more bread, more meat and a lot of juice.

When it came to lighting the BBQ it took a while. I think the flaw was not applying the lighter fluid liberally enough. But once we had reapplied (and moved the table - I was very close to some rather spectacular flames, and one guest was wearing a substantial amount of hairspray - we wanted no disasters) it really got going.

Weirdly, the Boyfriend could not have been more eager to help with the cooking. Considering his last foray into the world of cuisine resulted in fire alarms, a lot of smoke and some very burnt peas (yes it is possible to burn peas) I was impressed (though hardly surprised) at the interest. I think it was more interest in fire than in cooking.

Anyway, the evening was a success. The food was lovely (chicken cooked in oven to prevent any poisoning) the drink plentiful and the company many and varied. Plus one guest did all the washing up (what a treat!) and the Boyfriend cleared up outside (even better treat!).

And at the end of it all, we have our very own love child, in the form of a small Tesco's own brand BBQ. Roll on summer.

Countdown to Christmas: Christmas evening

Usually Christmas evening is a bit of an anti-climax. After the big lunch, and all the present opening, and chocolate eating, all that ever happens in the Howe household is that someone puts on a film, and we all lie about like beached whales, gradually drifting off.


But this year, I went over to the boyfriend's, and their Christmas evening has a very different feel.


I arrived at about half past 5 and everything was in full swing. There was not an empty glass in the house, and everyone was full of cheer and merriment (probably heightened by the obligatory shot of firewater given on arrival - they are a family of Poles afterall). The Wii was out, and despite my usual disdain for the contraption (if you want to go bowling, why not actually go bowling?) I thoroughly enjoyed playing on it, as did everyone else, and I now will not hear a bad word against this wonderful console.


We started with bowling (in my excitement at getting a strike I jumped up and hit a light fitting) and then we moved onto a variety of balance games (I was surprisingly good, as was Grandma Doreen, despite her dodgy hip). Uncle Richard was hopeless (at one point the only action his Mii would do was jump up and down on the spot. Richard, needless to say was stood completely still. Everytime he tried this particular game, exactly the same would happen - we never got to the bottom of why).


Aunt Judy loved the Wii. Although on many of the balance games she was frequently heard to shout "Oh it knows I've had my bunions done! It knows! It knows!". Whether it did know, I can't be sure, but it is an ingenious machine, and so I wouldn't be surprised. She convinced Uncle Richard that they were buying one in the Boxing Day sales. Richard was less keen.


Aunt Visia managed some enviable poses during the balance games, and the Boyfriend's dad was disqualified for getting so carried away that he actually jumped on the board (big no no).


Uncle Keith kept up some very amusing commentary (you're walking a tightrope, not dancing in a disco, you're supposed to be on a ski-jump, not on the toilet, and so on) and Tasha's boyfriend decided that real skiing is easier than the Ski Slalom.


Predictably the Boyfriend came out top for everything (3 strikes in a row, top of the leader board, first to cross the tightrope, etc). But it kept the rest of us amused for the best part of 3 hours, removed any awkardness or shyness that comes from spending Christmas with family that isn't yours, and made you feel much better about the grotesque amount of turkey, chocolate, cake, mince pies and wine consumed throughout the day.

Masterchef

Those of you that know me will know that cooking has never been a strong point, or even much of an interest for me. In fact my culinary expertise stretches not much further than toast. But one of the perks at work is complimentary tickets, and for that reason myself and Wigan were venturing to that district line black-spot of Kensington Olympia, to attend Masterchef Live.

After fighting our way through the frenzied crowds of amateur cooks, we made it into the lofty space of Olympia.

Which is huge. And was totally jam-packed with stalls that were selling everything, from juice to sausages, from cheese graters to lager, from chocolate to curry. And you could try more or less all of it. We saw one of the finalists from this year's Masterchef demonstrating how to fillet a fish, and a range of TV chefs signing books and having photos.

We managed to try a seriously large amount of stuff - Kingfisher lager was a winner, as what the second of the toffee vodkas. St Germain elderflower liquer is a definite must have - it tastes like a garden in spring. Fat free and low calorie curry on the other hand tastes fat-free and low caloris - rubbish. Chocolate orange fudge is nice, as was lavender (surprisingly). The Wiganer nearly choked to death on a chilli jam, and out of the considerable range of chocolate brownies, the best was probably the gluten free one.

The only thing we actually bought was a wild boar sausage sandwich and a buffalo burger for lunch (mega-YUM) and a chocolate owl (for the boyfriend).

All in all, I would not have paid for this event (partly down to the fact that cooking will never be that high on my agenda) but it was definitely worth going as a freebie.